Why I Decided to Leave Instagram

This will be one post of a few posts about my thoughts on Instagram and the Instagram culture. I've had my hang ups with Instagram for a long time but I've kept holding on because of the good of it, and there IS good to it. I met one of my best friends because of Instagram. I've met so many good people because of Instagram. Because of Instagram I was able to spread word about my friend's little girl's leukemia diagnosis and with your help and generosity we raised 33,000 dollars for her and her family. There IS good to Instagram. Including you guys! You guys have helped encourage me to put one foot in front of the other and keep going in my hardest times. You've told me I helped you, but in reality you have helped me. You have offered me connection when I felt I didn't have much of any, and for that I'm SO grateful.

I'm an INFJ personality, have you ever heard of the Meyer-Briggs personality test? It categorizes you into 16 different personalities and then describes you to a T. It's incredible really. All my life I've kind of felt like I just don't really fit in anywhere... for multiple reasons. Apparently INFJ is one of the more rare personalities so it's helped me realize I'm not just not a total weirdo... or rather maybe I AM a total weirdo but at least there are other total weirdos out there like me. I have a mind that's constantly brewing with depth but a voice that can't always portray that as eloquently as I'd like. Apparently this is common in INFJ personalities (Halle-freaking-lujah... I'm not the ONLY ONE). 

Instagram gave me a platform where I was able to spit out those thoughts and WRITE them in an eloquent form that allowed me to portray my inner self in ways that I couldn't always speak. Because #introvert and #shy and also #terribleatpublicspeaking.

It also allowed my introverted self to connect with thousands of you within the comfort of my own home. Social interaction while I'm laying at home in my pajamas?! Sold. 💃🏼

Between it giving me a platform to write my thoughts and also a way to easily stay connected to the outside world, it became addicting.

Now, this isn't something new for me. In high school I'd sit on MySpace for hours, in college I'd sit on Facebook for hours, and once Instagram came around I'd sit on Instagram for hours.

On that note, stop what you're doing right now. I want to show you something. Go to settings on your iPhone, click on battery, scroll down and then click on that little clock to the right of where it says "last four days".

That's how much time you've spent on each of those apps in the last four days.

Are you shocked?

Yeah, I was too.

That's how much time you've wasted neglecting something in your life. Maybe it's just the laundry, maybe it's just the dishes, maybe it's your friend who needs a helping hand, maybe it's your grandparents sitting in the nursing home wondering when you're going to visit again, maybe it's your kids looking at you with your phone in your face wondering why you can't just play with them, maybe it's your LIFE.

You know, that little thing called life that's constantly ticking by? No resets, no rewinds, it's moving forward whether you want it to or not. It's brutal really, unrelenting. It doesn't care if you're ready or not because it's going and it's going NOW.

We have become SLAVES to our phones. It's an addiction. And if you're an introvert like me, chances are the social outlet that social media provides has likely become an an addiction too.

Why?

Because it's EASY.

Scroll down, double tap, leave a comment, refresh to see who has commented on your last photo or instastory. It makes you feel wanted. Makes you fee involved. Makes you feel seen.

And if it's at a healthy level for you, congrats! These next few paragraphs aren't for you.

But tell me, are those people you have never met that you are double tapping and giving your precious attention... are they going to be by your side when the going gets tough?

When you have a miscarriage, are they going to sit with you at your house and cry with you?

When you have a divorce, are they going to check in on you to make sure you're doing ok?

When you're home alone and crying because you feel like everyone you once loved has sided against you, are they going to be there for you?

Chances are they won't.

And honestly, even the ones you HAVE invested in in real life might not be there for you. Which sucks. It freaking sucks. But in the end you're better for seeing true colors now rather than later.

But back to my point, I've just realized when I'm sitting at home with tears streaming down my face about the trials I'm currently walking, the only ones who could really be there for me were the ones who were physically there with me.

And I began to realize that while I may have had thousands of smaller connections, at this time in my life I just needed a smaller number of BIGGER connections. Ones that I could call and have a listening ear, ones that would go out to dinner with me just because they knew I needed to get out, ones that could offer me comfort in ways that social media is limited.

A book I read recently described this at "watering down the milk". There is still substance and involvement from those connections in your life, but it's watered down and not as rich because social interaction through your internet friends is limited in obvious ways. At no fault of their own, I wish I was real life friends with everyone I connected with through Instagram but the reality of it is that it's not possible... as much as I yearn for it to be it's just not possible.

When the going gets tough, we need real life connections to connect with. And that's why I decided to leave Instagram. So tell me, what did that little clock say? How much time did you spend staring down your phone. How much time did it eat away into your life? Minutes, hours, and days we will never get back. Was it worth it? When you're at the pearly gates and they are replaying your life... how much of it is going to be you sitting their looking at your phone?

It's been five day's since unfollowing everyone on instagram. Five days since my last post. Five day's since I took a good hard look at my life and rearranged my priorities.

And it's already healing me.